Naruto Parody
by Anomynous Nin
Summary: This is the parody version of Naruto, where everything goes insane! Naruto is more than a hyperactive ninja, Sakura is more then a fangirl, Sasuke is... well... Sasuke, And Kakashi is... uh... a pervert. Join their adventures that gone wrong!
1. Enter! The stupid ninja!

Hello, everyone! It's me! Anomynous Nin! And I'm here with another new story! A parody one, of course! Well, anyway, this story is the parody version of the original Naruto series, much like an abridged series. So anyway, I'm gonna give up writing lemons for a while and start getting in touch with my humor side. So here's my new, parody story!

Oh! And before I forget, I will not use my usual writing style, but to use the name/paste sopy something-something... Don't know what that is, but it's like any other parody stories. Ok! On with the new story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto... or any other stuff that I will mention in this chapter,

**Episode 1:**

**Enter! The stupid main character of the series!**

Narrator: A long time ago, the Pokemon, Ninetails, attack a peaceful city known as Pallet Town...

Random person: Hey... Wait a minute! That's not in the script!

Narrator: It's not?

Random person: No! There's no Pokemon in here!

Narrator: What do you mean, no Pokemon?! This is Pokemon, damn it!

Random Person: Uh... No. It's Naruto, not Pokemon.

Narrator: What? I'm not in the Pokemon studio?

Random Person: Uh... No. And by the way, Pokemon is in the 4kids company. This is Viz company.

Narrator: Oh... But can I just say something in here?

Random Person: No. Get out!

Narrator: If you kick me out, the fangirls will get me!

Random Person: You don't have fangirls.

Narrator: Yes I do! Also, I like fat women and cats. I can bang them all day, if I want! Maybe I should assassinate the lord and become a lord of this world! Then, I will kill all men and be the single man in the world! Then--

Random Person: ... GUARDS!!

The guards came in the studio.

Random guard #1: Ok, bud! You're coming with us!

They grabbed the narrator.

Narrator: Let me go! I have rights! And I got a restraining order to not drag me out of the building! Here it is!

He pulls out a restraining paper. One of the guards took it from his hands.

Random guard #2: Hm... Sir... You're still under arrest.

Narrator: WHAT?! What do you mean?!

Random guard #2: Well... It expired... three years ago.

Narrator: Huh?

Random guard #2: And also... There's a stain on it, a heart that says "N plus Michael Jackson", a drawing of a guy stabbing guys and a phrase that says "I'm gay!".

Narrator: Um... That wasn't me.

Random guard #2: Of course it wasn't... By the way, that's a sarcastic tone.

The guards dragged the narrator out of the studio.

Random Person: Ok! Next narrator!

Suddenly, the Sandaime Hokage came in through the door, surprising everyone in the studio.

Random Person: What the...?! The Sandaime Hokaqge?! What the heck are you doing here?!

Sarutobi: What? I am just here to say the prologue of the story, that's all.

Random Person: But... Aren't you supposed to do Hokage stuff? Like, you know, writing papers, taking care of children and something Hokages do? (Thoughts) And by that, I mean... Banging chicks... Perverted Hokage...

Sarutobi: Well, I decided that it's a good time to explain the storyline for everyone who are stupid enough to not know what is it.

Random Person: Then do it.

Sarutobi: Alright... Ahem! Long time ago, there's a fox with nine tails who got trapped in a baby's body by a man who died, that's all.

Random Person: What the...?! That's too short, old man!

Sarutobi: Any other ideas?

Random Person: Explain it a little better!

Sarutobi: It is better.

Random Person: That's too short! No one will know what you're talking about!

Everyone: Yes, we are.

Random Person: Ah... crap.

Sarutobi: Then on with the episode!

And the episode begins...

In the peaceful, crappy old village of Konoha, a village that is filled with ninjas and perverts, we see a stupid, blonde kid holding two pots of paint, with two adults following him... Yeah... 'nuff said.

Naruto: HA HA HA HA!! You can't get me, you slowpokes!

Random jounin #1: Naruto, come back here! And we'll give you something that will hurt so much!

Naruto: Then I'll run away faster!

Random jounin #1: Wha...?

Random jounin #2: You idiot! You're supposed to tell him that if he comes back, we'll give him free ramen!

Random jounin #1: Oh... Uh... Naruto, come back here! And we'll give you some free ramen!

Naruto: Nice try! But I aleady ate one this morning!

Random jounin#1: I thought you said it'll work!

Random jounin #2: How am I supposed to know that he already ate ramen this morning?! I mean, I didn't eat noodle soup in the morning! It's really unhealthy!

Random jounin #1: I'd eat it in the morning...

Random jounin #2: Just shut up and catch him already!

And it goes on and on for two hours... Until they lost him.

Random jounin #1: Where the hell did he go?!

Random jounin #2: Quick! Let's go to the sidewalk that has nothing to do to the episode at all!

Random jounin #1: I agree!

They jumped on some random sidewalk that has nothing to do with the episode at all. They looked around themselves to see if Naruto is here. But he's not here... Except for a weird poster that has the same size as a garden wall... Except that it looks like a picture of a beautiful woman... and another beautiful woman... Make-out with each other... with no... Ok, that's too much.

Random jounin #2: He's not here. So let's get back to the Hokage mansion.

Random jounin #1: Wait... Why do I get a feeling that we're missing out?

Random jounin #2: 'Cause we're jounins?

Random jounin #1: Makes sense.

The jounins disappear from the sidewalk. Then, the poster sticks off and it revealed Naruto, with a grin.

Naruto: Heh heh heh... Those idiots! They didn't noticed that disguise I made to keep me from getting caught! He he he...

Well... Looks like Naruto doesn't noticed the poster as well... Also, someone just suddenly came behind him, screaming...

Iruka: Oh yeah, soldier?!

Naruto: AAHHH!!

He jumped, and got into his soldier stance, without looking behind him.

Naruto: Sir, yes sir!

Iruka: Where do you think you're going?!

Naruto: Trying to find my way to the academy, sir!

Iruka: (sigh) Naruto, it's me, Iruka-sensei. And no, you're not trying to find your way to the academy.

Naruto: (Turns around) Oh... Hey, Iruka-sensei! I'm just looking around to find a present for you, that's all!

Iruka: You used that excuse last time.

Naruto: Um... I've been chased by some guys?

Iruka: That one too.

Naruto: Um... Training to beat Sasuke.

Iruka: Come on! What do you think I am?

Naruto: Um... I'm gay?

Iruka: ... That's it!

And that's when he tied Naruto all over the place and dragged him to the academy.

In Naruto's class...

Iruka: Ok, class! I found Naruto and dragged him all the way here. He's doing some unpleasant thing again.

Guys: Thanks for the free one hour time, Naruto!

Girls: I hate you, Naruto! You and your stupid, unmature pranks!

Naruto: Why is it always the guys who I get cheered on?

Iruka: Ok! Today will be the last day until the graduation exam! And I want you all to show me what you have learned this far... Except for the breakfast break, hot girls studies, alcoholic, describing a man's private spot, Cloud 9... and any other stuff related to this.

Random girl #1: What about the Sexy Jutsu studies?

Iruka: Sexy Jutsu...?! Wait, I don't remember teaching that thing! Where did you get this?

Random girl #1: (Blushes) Um... Nothing, that's all...

Iruka: ANYWAYS... Today, we will be doing Henge no Jutsu training. And that way, you can all be whatever you want to be... But only if the transformation is properly safe... Meaning no violence, no sex, no yaoi...

Boys: EWW!! Yaoi!

Girls: Yaoi! YAY!!

Iruka: And no yuri...

Boys: Yuri! YAY!!

Girls: EWW!! Yuri!

Random girl #2: Actually, I kinda like Yuri-

And that's when the girls threw random girl #2 out through the window.

Iruka: Ok, that's enough with the Ew/Yay/Throw thing. You must concentrate with the graduation exam that is coming tomorrow. So practice!

The class then lines up. After a while, half the class succeeded.

Iruka: Ok, next is Sakura.

The pink hair girl steps in the front.

Iruka: Ok. Let me see your progress.

Sakura: Ok.

She formed a handseal and transformed. And she transformed into a woman who is a singer, who was once bald, who got arrested for the first time and... She's a crack pole.

Britney Spears: _Oops, I did it again. I'm breaking your heart. And got lost in this game. Oh baby, baby._

Iruka: Ok, that's nice. Britney Spears... That's a first.

Sakura: (Transforms back) Thanks, Iruka-sensei! (Turns to Sasuke) See that, darling? I did it! Now, give me a kiss!

Sasuke: Soo not happening... Stalker.

Iruka: Alright. Emo boy, you're next.

He's addressing to Sasuke.

Sasuke: I'm not emo...

Iruka: Then stop acting like one.

Sasuke: ...

Iruka: ... Alright, just do it.

Sasuke formed a handseal and transformed. He turned into...a black skin, black outfit dude.

Emo boy: ...

Iruka: ... Uh... Ok?

Sasuke: (Transforms back) Hmph...

Iruka: Alright, next is Naruto.

Naruto: (Steps in) Alright! Here I go!

He formed a handseal and transformed. He turned into... Uh... A... Uh...

Iruka: (Is scared) No... No...! It can't be...!

Michael Jackson: Ow! How are you doing, you fine man?

Iruka: AAHHH!! Not Michael Jackson!!

Naruto: (Transforms back) Hah hah hah! I got ya, Iruka-sensei!

Iruka: Ok, that's it! Time out, Naruto!

Naruto: But we're not in kindergarden.

Iruka: TIME... OUT!

Naruto: But where should I go?

Iruka: In the corner of the classroom! Now time out!

With a groan, Naruto goes to the corner of the room.

Iruka: Ok, if anyone does something that makes me angry, then it's time out for you!

Random guy #1: Um... Can I go to the bathroom?

Iruka: TIME OUT!

Random guy #1: But I was just asking if-

Iruka: TIME... OUT!

With a groan, random guy #1 goes to another corner of the room.

Iruka: Anyone else?!

Silence...

Iruka: Good! Now let's move on!

And that's how the class got silent for the rest of the day.

After school, Naruto and Iruka are on top of the Hokage monument, where Naruto has to clean the faces up.

Iruka: Naruto, clean all the faces until at least one sight of paint is gone, understood?

Naruto: But it'll take hours to get it clean!

Iruka: DO YOU WANT ANOTHER TIME OUT?!

Naruto: (Scared) No...

Iruka: Good... Oh. And when you're done with it, we'll go get some ramen if you want.

Naruto: REALLY?! Oh boy! I can't wait!

Iruka: Heh... You like ramen so much, huh?

Naruto: Once I'm done with this, I'll go get a chicken-flavored ramen! Maybe porc-flavored! Or shrimp!

Iruka: Um... Naruto...

Naruto: Maybe if I mix the flavor, I can get a super, delicious ramen! That will be great!

Iruka: Naruto...

Naruto: And after I finish eating my ramen, I'll take over the village and be the king of all lands! Then, everyone will give me their money and their clothes! Then, I'll bang all the girls in the world, including small ones, because that's what I'm going to do... Banging some chicks! And-

Iruka knocked Naruto out with a quick blow on his neck.

Iruka: There... That will shut him up for a while... (Realizes) Oh damn it! I forgot! He has to clean all the faces! (Grabs Naruto and shakes him) Wake up, boy! Wake the hell up!

After a few hours of shaking Naruto, they're now in the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. Naruto has already ate three ramens and is going to eat his fourth one.

Iruka: Naruto, do you know what Hokages are?

Naruto: Yep!

Iruka: And what they do?

Naruto: Yep!

Iruka: And how they work hard?

Naruto: Yep!

Iruka: And how they banged chicks?

Naruto: Ye... Hey, wait a minute! That's not how they-

Iruka: ANYWAYS... Why did you do that to the Hokage faces? They're badass, you know.

Naruto: Yeah, that's why I want to make fun with them.

Iruka: Because they're badass?

Naruto: Yep!

Iruka: Make sense to me...

Naruto: Hey, can I wear that forehead protector of yours, Iruka-sensei?

Iruka: No way. This is for bastards like me. No young kids can wear it. It is a sign of a true ninja who kicked ass and always bang chicks, 'cause he's hot.

Naruto: Ok, I think I had enough with the "Banging chicks" part. The readers already read it, like, three times now.

Iruka: Ok, ok... Anyways, no, you're not going to wear my headband. You're still not a ninja yet. To obtain it, you have to pass the graduation exam. You already failed the test two times because of your stupid mind.

Naruto: Oh come on! Name one thing that makes me stupid!

Iruka: You used Sexy no Jutsu to fool the others...

Naruto: Uh... Ok, I admit it.

Iruka: Then, you told lies about something...

Naruto: Uh... Ok, that's three...

Iruka: Then you tricked adults into thinking that in the futur, they will be a pimp...

Naruto: Uh... I...

Iruka: Then you try to get in the girls' pants, and-

Naruto: Ok, I get it!

Iruka: Ok, tomorrow is the graduation exam. So don't fail this one!

Naruto: Right!

The next day...

Iruka: NARUTO!! YOU FAILED!! AGAIN!!

Naruto: What?! What did I do to fail again?!

Iruka: You just created a clone who has a pimp's feelings!

To the Naruto clone and a random girl...

Naruto's clone: So, baby... You lived not to far from here? If you want, I can bang you a lot.

Random girl #3: ... Get out, loser.

Naruto: ... Really, the banging thing has to stop.

Mizuki: Oh come on, Iruka. At least Naruto created a clone. Is that enough?

Iruka: No, Mizuki. The others created at least five clones more than Naruto. Also, clones do NOT have that kind of feelings like his clone. So I'm sorry, Naruto, but you failed... again.

Naruto: Oh yeah?! Well, at least I played Guitar Hero all the time!

Iruka: That's not true! I played Guitar Hero once before... I mean... Uh...

Let's skip to where the graduation exam is finished.

Naruto is not sitting on a swing, looking at the kids who graduated and the adults. He was sad that he didn't graduated... Three times. Then, there are two woman who are talking about him..

Random woman #1: Hey. Look. It's the orange, not stealthy, ungrateful, banging-chick, ramen lover, baddy bad, blond related, orange flavored, super loser-

Random woman #2: Yeah... The KYUUBI boy. And I heard that he's the only one who didn't graduated.

Random woman #1: Well, I'm glad that... Wait... What did you called him?

Random woman #2: What else? Kyuubi boy?

Random woman #1: Um... I don't think we should do that.

Random woman #2: Why not? I don't give a damn about the rules. I can call him anytime I want.

Random woman #1: Um... How many times did you called him that? And also, how many times did you insult him Kyu... You-know-what related?

Random woman #2: About six times in all.

Random woman #1: Um... I heard that if you did those kind of things three times, something might happen to you.

Random woman #2: Like what?

Suddenly, two jounins appeared besides her. They grabbed her by the shoulder each.

Random jounin #1: Young woman, you are under arrest for calling the boy Kyuubi related!

Random woman #2: WHAT?!

Random jounin #2: For that, we will punish you severely... with RAPE!

Random woman #2: EEEEKKK!!

Random jounin #2: In a whole day!

Random woman #2: EEEEKKK!!

Random jounin #2: With lots of guys!

Random woman #2: EEEEKKK!!

Random jounin #2: AND CLUCKY!!

Random woman #2: EEEEEEEEKKK!!

Random jounin #1: Uh... Dude? Clucky? Clucky is just a nice chicken.

Random jounin #2: Well, she's afraid of him, right?

Random jounin #1: Makes sense.

The two jounins and the woman disappeared from the academy, leaving one, small note.

Random woman #1: Huh? What's this?

She picked up the note and reads it.

Random woman #1: "I... hate... Clucky"?

While Naruto is still sitting on the swing, a smooth wind hit him. He turned around to see Mizuki, smiling on him.

Mizuki: Hey Fuzzbag.

Naruto: Fuzzbag?

Mizuki: I mean Naruto. Naruto. Hey Naruto.

Naruto: What do you want, Mizuki-sensei?

Mizuki: Come with me.

Naruto: Why?

Mizuki: Shut up or else, I'll cut your throat!

Naruto: Well, that's nice enough.

On the rooftop of some building...

Naruto: (Thinking) Man... Why can't I graduate? It was my only chance to be a female ninja! Damn you, Jesus!

Mizuki: You want to be a male ninja?

Naruto: Eh... Close enough.

Mizuki: Then tonight, you have to get a scroll from the Hokage residence.

Naruto: Ok. And?

Mizuki: That is all.

Naruto: But you didn't tell me all the-

Mizuki: That... is... all!

Naruto: But why aren't you doing it yourself?

Mizuki: Because I'm badass! That's what!

Naruto: But isn't it selfish?

Mizuki: ... Shut up. And I'll give you a cookie.

Naruto: Yay! A cookie!

Late at night... We now see Iruka laying on the bed, thinking about something.

Iruka: Ah... Kagome... I wish I was in your series, Kagome... So I can bang you and stuff...

... Ok, the banging thing has to stop. Then, he heard a knock coming from the door.

Iruka: (Gets up) Grr... This better be important!

He opens the door, revealing Mizuki with a frightened face.

Mizuki: Iruka!

Iruka: What is it?

Mizuki: Someone stole Clucky!

Iruka: WHAT?! Clucky?! Not that young, peaceful chicken!

Mizuki: Nah, I'm just joking. That's not what I'm here to tell you.

Iruka: Then what is it?!

Mizuki: A log killed Clucky!

Iruka: WHAT?!

Mizuki: Nah, jokes on you again, Iruka.

Iruka: Oh, you got to be kidding me! Again?!

Mizuki: What I'm saying is, Naruto stole the scroll.

Iruka: ... And?

Mizuki: what do you mean "And"?! That's the point!

Iruka: You know what? Your point suck!

Near the Hokage residence...

Sarutobi: Alright, everyone! Naruto stole the secret scroll from me! I want all of you to go look for him around the village!

Random jounin #1: Uh... Why us?

Sarutobi: Because you're random jounins. You must help out!

Random jounin #2: Um... Aren''t you supposed to guard that scroll?

Sarutobi: What are you babbling about?

Random jounin #3: Um... You did say that you're the one protecting the scroll. Aren't you supposed to do it?

Sarutobi: Well... At least I am powerful than you all!

Random jounin #3: At least I'm not an old man!

Sarutobi: Ah, touche.

Somewhere in the forest, Naruto lands in the area with a wooden house that is not important to the storyline... at all.

Naruto: Now... To look at the scroll... And then, Mizuki-sensei will give me tons of cookies!

Suddenly, Iruka came in.

Naruto: Oh! Hey, Iruka-sensei!

Iruka: Naruto... What's that on your back?

Naruto: Uh... Nothing?

Iruka: Nothing? There's a big scroll on your back! Is it the Hokage's scroll?!

Naruto: No... It's... Uh... A giant... Eggroll! A giant eggroll! Which shapes like a giant scroll!

Iruka: Oh. Is that so? Then ok, I guess.

Suddenly, Mizuki appeared on branch.

Mizuki: Give me the scroll, Naruto!

Iruka: Wait a sec... You told me it was an eggroll!

Naruto: Oops...

Mizuki: Give me the scroll, Naruto! And I'll give you tons of cookies!

Naruto: Ok!

Iruka: Don't do it, Naruto! He's trying to trick you on thinking that he'll give you tons of cookies if you give it to him!

Naruto: What are you talking about? He gave me a cookie when I agreed to do this.

Mizuki: I have?

Naruto: Huh? What do you mean?

Mizuki: Um... I'm pretty sure I didn't. You just agreed to do this and you do it. I didn't give you a cookie.

Naruto: But I thought... Wait a minute...

FLASHBACKS! WOO!

Naruto: Ok! I'll do it! Now, give me a cookie!

Mizuki: Then go get it, tiger!

Naruto: Ok!

He runs off to do Mizuki's deeds.

Mizuki: ... Wait, did I forget something?

AWW! END FLASHBACKS!

Mizuki: ... Ah screw it. I'm not going to give you a cookie anyway. Now give me the scroll!

Naruto: YOU LIED TO ME!!

Mizuki: Yes! And not only that, you have something inside of you!

Naruto: Uh... Sorry. I just ate some ramen before I do this.

Mizuki: That's not what I mean, you moron! You have a THING inside of you!

Naruto: What... thing?

Mizuki: You know! You have a monster inside of you!

Iruka: Mizuki! No! That's a violation of the sexy beast of Konoha's rules!

Mizuki: ... we have a sexy beast? Anyways, you have Kyuubi!

Iruka: Mizuki, you bastard!

Mizuki: Oh shut up, Iruka. You're not even important in this scene.

Iruka: Yes I do.

Mizuki: Really? Then what is it?

Iruka: I protect Naruto from your giant shuriken.

Mizuki: ... Die, Naruto!

He drew out his giant shuriken from his back and threw it at Naruto. Just as Naruto was about to get hit, Iruka took the hit instead, with his back getting pierce by the shuriken.

Mizuki: Oh crap, he's right.

Naruto: Are you ok, sensei?!

Iruka: I'm fine. It's just a flesh wound.

Naruto: But doesn't it hit your spine?

Iruka: Nah. I have many others like this.

Naruto: ... Bones?

Iruka: Yes... bones.

Naruto: Um... Are you... Not human?

Iruka: Yes, actually. I'm a demon.

Naruto runs away from Iruka.

Iruka: Naruto, wait! I was joking!

Mizuki: Well, that was dramatic... And that's sarcastic.

Somewhere in the chase, Naruto runs away, jumping on branches to branches, from Iruka and Mizuki. Unfortunately, Iruka caught up to him.

Iruka: Naruto! Give me the scroll!

Naruto: I don't wanna!

Iruka: Mizuki is gonna catch you if you don't give me the scroll! So hurry!

Suddenly, Naruto threw a log at Iruka, causing him to fall right on the ground. He landed on it.

Iruka: A LOG?! How did you...?!

He poofed into Mizuki.

Mizuki: How did you know that I don't like logs?!

Naruto poofed into Iruka.

Iruka: 'Cause I'm a log lover.

Mizuki: Iruka?! But I thought you like Clucky?

Iruka: I do. I love them both!

Mizuki: ... Ah screw it. You're gonna die, Iruka.

Mizuki was about to draw out his second giant shuriken, until Naruto, appearing out of nowhere, rams on him. He then fell to the ground a foot away.

Mizuki: OW! What the crap?!

Naruto: Don't hurt my sensei, you bastard! Or I'll kill you!

Mizuki: Oh. It's the demon boy. What do you want now?

Naruto: Kill you, that's what.

Mizuki: That's all?

Naruto: Well, you're a log hater and all, and...

Mizuki: ... ah screw it. You're gonna die with Iruka, demon.

Naruto: Not only I use this technique I learned from the eggroll!

Iruka: ... So it really IS an eggroll!

Mizuki: What?! That makes no sense! How can you learn something from an eggroll! Eggrolls can't... Oh right... The scroll... Ha! Oh really?! Well, show me what you got!

Naruto: Careful... I'm going to use your worst nightmares!

Mizuki: Ooh! My worst nightmares! I'm shaking with a giant shuriken on my back! Ha! What is it?!

Naruto: I warn ya... I'm gonna use your worst nightmare!

Mizuki: And what would that be, brat?

Naruto: Log Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Mizuki: Log... Shadow... Clone...?!

Suddenly, hundreds of logs appeared out of nowhere in the sky and fell right on Mizuki.

Mizuki: NOOOOO!! NOT THE LOGS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

After 6 hours of log screaming nightmare, Mizuki found himself unconscious with a bunch of logs on him.

Iruka: Naruto, that was amazing! You learned a jutsu that frightens Mizuki!

Naruto: Nah! I really learned Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. But when I learned that Mizuki is afraid of logs, I created that jutsu. Just to scare him.

Iruka: Well, I guess I should give you something. Close your eyes, will ya?

Naruto: (Does so) Ok!

Suddenly, Iruka slams his forehead protector on Naruto's forehead.

Naruto: OWW! What's that for?!

Iruka: What? You're a ninja now.

Naruto: I am? I AM?!

Iruka: Of course! You graduated.

Naruto: AWESOME! I'm a ninja now!

Iruka: And also, I glued my headband so you can't take it off.

Naruto: You... what?

He tried to remove the forehead protector from his forehead, but it's stuck. Stuck good.

Naruto: Um... Iruka-sensei? Do you have something that I makes me take off that headband?

Iruka: Sure!... If you want your skin to rip off, of course!

Naruto: NOO! I CHANGE MY MIND!

Iruka: Too late, young man!

Naruto: NOOOOO!!

And so, Naruto's days as the ninja begins. Will it be something awesome? Or something... horrible?

**End of episode**

Hm... Well... Uh... I don't know if it's funny and all... But it's worth a shot, right? Anyway, do you guys like it? And sorry if some of these jokes... Or rather, all the jokes are not funny. It's my first time doing a parody fic. So... Give me your opinions, ok?

Well, Ja ne. And review Kudasai!


	2. Bigbrat McIdiot

... Um... That's... the very least reviews I had. And having four reviews mean... I still need a lot of work. Ok, sorry if I'm not good at this. I still need to get in touch with my humor side. Well... Maybe later, deep in the story... I might resolve this. Ok, guys. It's time for episode two to come. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any others.

**Episode 2:**

**My name is Bigbrat McIdiot**

The next day... Or is it a few days later? Anyways, it's time for a genin to receive their goddamn ninja license. Why do ninja need licenses for? Shouldn't they be a secret?

Random Person: Um... This is the ninja world. There's no secret to keep there.

Oh... Alright. Anyways, it's Naruto's turn to get his picture taken. But he has a special kind of thing in mind.

Photographer: Would you get your ass here! You've been doing that since thirty minutes! Get on with it!

Naruto: Hold on! I still need one more thing to get ready!

Photographer: I don't have all day! I neeed to get home with my mom so she could give me her special surprise dish, the shrimp puffs. Mm... Shrimp puffs... With special sauce... And fishes... Mmm...

Naruto: ... Uh... Dude? Shrimp puffs are gross.

Photographer: Then hurry up! Or else, I will take you with me and we'll have some shrimp puffs!

Naruto: Ok, ok! I'm ready!

Photographer: ... Uh... Kid? Are you sure that will work?

Naruto: I'm sure! Now take a picture!

Photographer: Uh... Ok... Say cheese!

The photographer took a picture of Naruto. And the picture reveales to be... HUH?! Ganondorf?! With his usual green skin, red hair, sword, cape, outfit and all?! What the hell!

Anyways, after Naruto's picture, he came to the Hokage office for the Sandaime Hokage to see his picture. He's proud of that, actually. But to the Hokage... Well...

Sarutobi: Um... Naruto. I'm afraid I cannot accept this picture of yours.

Naruto: Huh? Why not?

Sarutobi: Well... This is Ganondorf... And there are rules about copyrights. Ganondorf is from Nintendo, while we belong to Viz.

Naruto: Um... You kinda broke the fourth wall, old man.

Sarutobi: Anyways, I cannot accept this picture. So you'll have to take your picture again properly. Or else, we'll send you to the dungeon.

Naruto: Oh come on! Please!

Sarutobi: Copyrights, Naruto. Copyrights.

Naruto: Ok then! I will have to use this jutsu! Henged!

Naruto transforms.

Sarutobi: No... No... No! Not him!

Michael Jackson: Ow! How are you doing, pretty man? How's life to you?

Sarutobi: AAAAHHHH!! NOT MICHAEL JACKSON!!

Naruto: (Transforms back) Ha ha! I got ya!

Sarutobi: (sigh) That's the same jutsu you used on Iruka on the day before the graduation exam... Not impressed.

Naruto: Oh come on! You reacted at that! You know that I'll beat you with it!

Sarutobi: (sigh) Dream on, little boy. And by the way, where's your forehead protector?

Naruto: I just don't want to scratch my badass headband before the meeting. If I got it scratch, no one will thinking I'm badass.

Sarutobi: You're not as badass as me.

Naruto: Oh yeah!? How's that?!

Sarutobi: I'm the Hokage.

Naruto: Ah... Touche.

Behind the entrance to the office, there is a young boy who is standing here, looking through the hole of there.

??: Hah... Old man... You're going down today... 'Cause I'm going to be the new pimp of the village. I hope you're ready!

The door slides open and reveals the boy out, as he charges towards the Hokage.

Konohamaru: ADREAN!!

However, a random guy, who appeared out of nowhere for some reason, pilled the banana and threw the skin on the ground, where Konohamaru's charge is. Konohamaru steps on the banana and slips, causing him to fall on the ground full face on the ground.

Konohamaru: Darn it. Foiled again.

Sarutobi: (sigh) This is the eight time he has done it.

Naruto: (eyes twitch) Who the heck are you...?

Konohamaru: (Stands up) Ok, old man! This time, I WILL defeat you! Even if it takes a whole month to do it!

Unfortunately for him, an odd man with sunglasses cane in the office.

Ebisu: Grandson of the pimp lord! Are you alright!?

Konohamaru: Stop calling me that!

Ebisu: You are the grandson of the pimp lord! So I have an objection to not calling you that!

Konohamaru: Oh come on! I'm not related to that old man!

Ebisu: (Notices Naruto and thinks) Him... It's the brat who has that badass demon in him. I don't know why that demon is badass, but I don't care! I hate him.

Naruto: (Notices Ebisu's eyes) Those eyes... They're the same as the others... He thinks I'm a pimp!

Konohamaru: (Walks over to Naruto) You! You're the one who set up that trap, aren't you?!

Naruto: Actually, it's this guy. (Points at the banana throwing guy) He was eating a banana and threw the skin on the ground in front of your charge, brat.

Ebisu: (Runs towards Naruto and Konohamaru) Let go of him, badass demon! He is the grandson of the pimp lord!

Konohamaru: Stop calling me that! The old man is not the pimp lord!

Ebisu: What did you say? All I heard is "Blah blah blah blah blah" and the occasional "Bleh". Anyways, let go of him!

Naruto: He's a what now?

Konohamaru: (Thinking) Heh... Once he realizes who I am, he'll refuse to hit me. After all, I am the grandson of the pimp lord... which he is NOT!

Unexpectedly, Naruto hits him with a plastic chicken.

Naruto: That's ridiculous.

Konohamaru: Ow! Where did you get that chicken?!

Naruto: Random.

Konohamaru: Makes sense.

Naruto: Look, I don't care if you're the old man's grandson, ok? You're just an idiotic brat who couldn't even beat Clucky.

Konohamaru: I can beat Clucky! I know his weak point!

Naruto: Then what is it?

Konohamaru: Uh... Uh... The... peck?

Naruto: ... Wow, you're an idiotic ass.

Ebisu: Grandson of the pimp lord-

Konohamaru: Stop calling me that!

Ebisu: ... You mustn't get involve in this childish argument with that badass blond kid! Nothing good will come out of it! For I am Ebisu, elite jounin! And I am never wrong! Not even once! Hokage-sama, do I take care of children nicely? Of course I do!

Sarutobi: No.

Ebisu: See?! I am always right!

Sarutobi: Actually, Ebisu...

FLASHBACKS AGAIN! YEAH!

Ebisu: You called this an origami?! I'll show you what it is! By bending you!

Random kid #1: NO! PLEASE! SPARE ME!

AW! END FLASHBACKS!

Ebisu: ... Still, I'm never wrong!

Sarutobi: Right...

Ebisu: Anyway, the easiest way to become Hokage is by my teachings! Teaching the grandson of the pimp lord is the only way to become Hokage quickly! Except for girls, adults, animals, insects, fishes, trees, chicken, logs, enemies, death, someguy in a square pants, a guard, a flying guy in his flying machine, pictures, hot naked la-

Sarutobi: Konohamaru left, Ebisu.

Ebisu: WHAT?!

He then notices both Naruto and Konohamaru gone.

Ebisu: Where is he?! Where's the grandson of the pimp lord!

Sarutobi: I believe he followed Naruto when he's leaving the office. Your speeches suck ass that you made the young boy leave.

Ebisu: WHAT?! He followed the badass demon! Oh god!

He runs off from the office, to find where's Konohamaru.

Sarutobi: ... And what the heck are you doing here in my office, you? (Points at the banana eating guy.

Random guy #1: Eating my banana.

Sarutobi: ... Get out of here.

Random guy #1: Ok.

Outside of Konoha, Naruto was seen walking down the street. Well, he didn't noticed Konohamaru following him.

Naruto: I wonder what shall I do now... Maybe I'll grab a couple of ramen... Or steal money from orphans... Or bang some chicks... Ok, I think I should stop now...

Konohamaru: (Whispering) Heh... There he is...

Naruto quickly turns around when he sensed someone behind him. Konohamaru covers himself with a cover so he couldn't get detected... Stupid kid!

Naruto:...

Konohamaru: Achoo!

Naruto: (Sarcastic) ... I thought I saw someone... (Continues to walk away)

Konohamaru: (Uncovers himself) Heh...!

Konohamaru continues to follow Naruto. In the area of the wooden graden walls, Naruto turns around agaion after sensing yet another person. Konohamaru covers himself with a camouflage. But it's a poster of two big, hot, naked ladies...

Naruto: ... Dude... I used that joke last episode!!

Konohamaru: (Uncovers himself) Heh... You're good! How did you do that?

Naruto: ... Are you retarded?

Konohamaru: How dare you! For that, I will be your pupil for now on!

Naruto: ... That was an insult... And he wants to make me his teacher...?

Konohamaru: Come on! Teach me that jutsu you used on old man!

Naruto: ... What jutsu?

Konohamaru: You know! The Michael Jackson jutsu! You gotta teach me this!

Naruto: ... Why?

Konohamaru: You beat the crap out of the old man with that jutsu! And I want to beat him with that too!

Naruto: ... Sorry. That jutsu is off-limits. No one wants to see that again. It creeps the living crap out of people.

Everyone: Amen!

Konohamaru: Aww...

Naruto: But there is another jutsu that can beat the old man also.

Konohamaru: Really?!

Naruto: Yep! Sexy no Jutsu!

Konohamaru: ... Um... Sexy? I'm a little... too... young for that...

Naruto: Don't worry! It's just a-

Konohamaru: But I'm a pervert and proud of it! So teach me that jutsu!

Naruto: ... (Steps back from Konohamaru)

Konohamaru: ... what?

Naruto: Well, tell you what! I'll teach you that jutsu if you can stop acting like a little pervert.

Konohamaru: I'll make no promises!

Naruto: (sigh) Alright... Ok, before you can do the jutsu, you need to do severals of tasks of extra pervyness, naked ladies and peeks. You'll have to show promise to do that, alright?

Konohamaru: Alright!

Naruto: Then let's do it!

(In Spongebob Narrater's voice) Two hours later...

Naruto: (Covering with bumps, scratches and black eye) Oww... What the hell happened? How the hell did we skip time?

Konohamaru: Apparently, the readers don't want to waste time on reading things like that.

Naruto: Ok... But how the heck am I covering with injuries?

Konohamaru: I got three pictures taken from each of the three tasks we did.

Konohamaru shows Naruto the three pictures taken. One of the pictures is a violent woman beating the crap out of Naruto, when Konohamaru was trying to perform Sexy no Jutsu. The other is when a violent owner of some book shop beats the crap out of Naruto with a stick. And the last one shows every naked ladies beating the crap out of Naruto with different sorts. Make-up case, broom, a Shoujo magazine, a gay one, etc, etc.

Naruto: ... Why am I the only one who takes the beating?

Konohamaru: Sorry, Naruto. I'm the grandson of the pimp lord of the Leaf Village.

Naruto: ... Why do they called the old man the pimp lord?

Konohamaru: Um... I think it's about the time when...

ANOTHER FLASHBACK!

Konohamaru: Grampa? Why do you have so many old ladies by your side?

Sarutobi: (With a hundred of middle-age women) Because I'm a pimp lord. That's why.

END FLASHBACK! AW MAN!

Konohamaru: ... Ah. So that's why people always called me that.

Naruto: Then why didn't you remember it sooner?!

Konohamaru: ... Anyways, now what?

Naruto: Well, since we've made a painful tasks, I think it's time for you to use Sexy no Jutsu!

Konohamaru: Yays!

Naruto: Ok! Try and transform!

Konohamaru: Ok! Henged! (Transforms into a fat lady) Well? What do you think?

Naruto: ... Skinny, ok?

Konohamaru: Ok. Henged! (Transform into a very skinny lady) Now?

Naruto: No.

Two hours later...

Right now, Ebisu is now on top of the monument, searching for Konohamaru.

Ebisu: You think you can get away from an elite jounin, are you, grandson of the pimp lord? Then think again. I will find you and that Kyuubi brat as soon as possible.

Earcom: Closet pervert! Come in closet pervert! Did you find him yet?

Ebisu: I am not a closet pervert!

Earcom: Sure you aren't... Anyways, did you find him yet.

Ebisu: No. But I am close.

Earcom: Hey, Ebisu. I want to ask you something.

Ebisu: What?

Earcom: Can you tell a difference between the Nintendo Wii and the Gamecube? You see, there's a sensor bar for the wii so we can move the Wiimote around the screen. The gamecube feels like a button mashing, don't you think? And between those two is that they're from the same company. And-

Ebisu: Signing off!

Meanwhile, with the two young teacher and perverted pupil...

Naruto: So, what's up, Konohamaru? Why are you feeling sad?

Konohamaru: (With a happy mask on) What are you talking about? I'm not sad.

Naruto: ... Take off the mask, Konohamaru.

Konohamaru: (Takes it off) Sorry...

Naruto: So what's up?

Konohamaru: Well... It's just... You're the first person to ever called me by my name.

Naruto: Huh? Why?

Konohamaru: Well... My grampa called me Konohamaru, related to the name of our village, Konoha. He said that that name is cool so that everyone will remember me as a badass kid. But no one called me that. They always called me the grandson of the pimp lord... Or at any case, the pimp lord's grandson, the pimp grandson, the hot brat, the young girls's brat of their dreams...

Naruto: ... So... What's up with that?

Konohamaru: In order for everyone to know my name, I have to become Hokage. And to be Hokage, I need to beat my grampa. That's why I need four-eyes' teachings to do that. But his teaching sucks so bad that I have to get away from him.

Naruto: (Slaps him with a rubber chicken again) Idiot. That's not how it works.

Konohamaru: Oww! Why did you hit me with a rubber chicken again?!

Naruto: If you want to become Hokage that quickly, then you have to beat me for the title...

Konohamaru: A battle...? A battle of soft core porn?!

Naruto: Uh... Sure... Let's go with that...

Suddenly, Ebisu pops up besides them.

Ebisu: I finally found you... bitches!

Konohamaru: Ah hell... It's four-eyes...

Ebisu: Grandson of the pimp lord! You must come with me! We were worried sick about you!

Konohamaru: You'll never take me alive! Henged! (Tranforms into a beautiful lady) Hey there, Ebisu-sensei. How are you doing?

Ebisu: What the hell?! What kind of sick jutsu is that?! How dare you do that in front of your mentor!

Konohamaru: (Transforms back) What?! But I thought you're a pervert!

Ebisu: I am not! Now, come with me!

He grabs Konohamaru's scarf and pulls it, trying to drag him. But Konohamaru resists.

Konohamaru: No! I don't want to go back to your stupid teachings!

Ebisu: That Naruto is trying to make you a delinquant! A prankster! A pervert!

Konohamaru: But I already am a pervert!

Ebisu: ...

Konohamaru: ...

Ebisu: ...

Konohamaru: ...

Ebisu: ...

Konohamaru: ... Soft core porn?

Ebisu: ... That's it! (Continues to drag him off)

Konohamaru: NO! LET ME GO!!

Naruto: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!

Severals of Naruto appeared around Ebisu and Konohamaru.

Ebisu: Ah... I see the rumors about the Log Shadow Clone Jutsu is true... Well then... (Lets go of Konohamaru's scarf) I should warn you, I am not the same as that fool Mizuki... If you want to use it against me, then you'll lose this round. Just like when you play DDR, when you fail to finish the song and perfecting all the moves.

All of the Narutos: Sexy no Jutsu!

Ebisu: Huh?

All the Narutos transform into hot, naked ladies, showing off their hot poses.

Ebisu: WHAAAAA?!

All the female Narutos: Hey there, Ebisu-sama! Will you help us do something special? He he he he!

Ebisu: (Nose erupts of blood) WHAAAAA!! (Falls down face-flat on the solid ground)

All the clones disappear and Naruto transforms back into his normal form.

Naruto: Ha ha! I called this one Harem no Jutsu! A combination of Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and Sexy no Jutsu!

Konohamaru: ... No way...

Two hours later...

Konohamaru: I can't believe this! I still can't beat the closet pervert with soft core porn!

Naruto: Come on, Konohamaru. Being Hokage so quickly isn't that easy. To be Hokage, you have to work hard, become stronger and stronger to gain the title. That's why I became a ninja, to become stronger.

Konohamaru: Oh well. I guess that means that I'm not your pupil anymore and that we're rivals now.

Naruto: ... when did you get that idea?

Konohamaru: Come on! I read the manga three times now! How can I not forget?

Naruto: Well, if you want to become stronger, then be strong. That way, you'll become Hokage for a long time...

Konohamaru: ... Well, I still have your pictures, Naruto.

Naruto: ... Give me that!

**End of episode**

... Ok... This is all I can do for now on. I try everything I can to make it funny. If not... well... Sorry.

Anyway, I hope this chapter satisfy you guys. And in the next chapter, I need you guys to give me some ideas for it. I need to make this story funny so I can... Well, I don't know about that, but... Well, give me your ideas.

Jane. And review Kudasai.


	3. Friends or bad housewives?

Hey, everyone. It's me again. And here's the next episode of this parody story... Yeah... That's all I have to say. You know, I don't feel like talking much, but I need to finish the opening quick. So enjoy.

Disclaimer: I WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL, IF YOU GUYS THINK I OWNED ANYTHING!!

**Episode 3:**

**Sasuke and Sakura: Friends... Or bad housewives?**

The next day!

Naruto: (Wakes up after a beautiful night sleep.) Mm... Man, that's a good night sleep! And today is the team selection team, I'm gonna be in a team with someone and blah blah blah... Anyway, I gotta get ready!

Naruto rolls his eyeballs up and see that he still has the headband stuck on his forehead.

Naruto: ... As soon as I figure out how to get that headband off of me...

After an hour of dressing up and get the damn headband off of his forehead, with no sucession of course, Naruto goes out of his apartment, walks towards the academy, meeting people, saluting people... and then, kill some people... Nah, I'm kidding about the killing part. And soon then, he was passing by an obvious, yet stupid at the same time, cloth of wooden wall in the streets where the wooden walls are.

Naruto: ... I didn't see anything.

Deciding that it's a waste of good time, he ignores Konohamaru's stupid cloating.

Konohamaru: ... Did he find me?... I'll better just wait until he finds something suspicious about the cloth...

In the academy, full of young, badass shinobi, Naruto is sitting here, with a grin on his face, which killed a thousand birds around him. And Shikamaru was just passing by him, and noticed him.

Shikamaru: Hey, wait! You're not badass, Naruto!

Naruto: Oh yes I am! I got the headband. See? (Points at the headband on his forehead.)

Shikamaru: Oh I see... But why isn't tied up, but it sticks on your forehead?

Naruto: It sticks on my forehead...

Shikamaru: ... Well, that makes sense.

Naruto: Well, at least it didn't happen with Clucky.

Shikamaru: (Sarcastic) Oh yes! Clucky! Clucky is the most famous chicken of all! Clucky is my hero! He should be a Hokage someday! And he'll kick Shikamaru's ass! ... Asses...

Meanwhile, back on Endor... Oh wait... This isn't Star Wars... Ahem! I mean, meanwhile, outside of the academy, we see a pink hair girl walking down on the street. Then, she was passing by a blond girl, who then joins her.

Ino: Hey Sakura.

Sakura: (With a guy's high and fatso voice) Hey Ino.

Ino: So, how's life is to you with that forehead of yours?

Sakura: (Still with a guy's high voice) About the same as your vision with no pupils.

Ino: ... Ok, Sakura, why do you sound like a guy's high and fatso voice?

Sakura: (With normal voice) Meh... I don't know. But the writer made me sound like that. But that scene and lines sound familiar...

Ino: ... Flat-chest.

Sakura: Poser.

Ino: ... Ok, that looks REALLY familiar.

Sakura: Yeah... Uh, let's just run.

Ino: Right.

And so, the two girls runs, one after the other. And one second ago, they reached the academy and the classroom... Already.

Ino: (Pant, pant, pant) Ok... Just to make sure that it's not familiar... Ha! I won!

Sakura: No way! I did! Hey, everyone, who won?!

Everyone: Ino.

Sakura: ... Oh, who asked y-... Wait... Oh no, it sounds familiar too!

Ino: Shoot!

Naruto: (Thinking) Man, why does Sasuke have all the girls?! I'm the main character!... Whoa, it really DOES sound familiar...

While the others are talking, Sasuke is just sitting here, acting emo again.

Sasuke: ...

And that's when Naruto came in front of him, kneeling on the desk. With his face an inch away from Sasuke's.

Naruto: ... Hey.

Sasuke: ...

Naruto: ... Stop acting emo, damn it. you know everyone is tired of that.

Sasuke: I can't.

Naruto: Why?

Sasuke: Because I'm in hatred mode on someone. Or something.

Naruto: Um... Who's that?

Sasuke: The log.

Naruto: ... Why the log?

Sasuke: Because the log humiliates me.

Naruto: I don't see the log doing anything to humiliate you.

Sasuke: That's why. He didn't do anything to me just to humiliate me.

Naruto: Uh...

Random boy #1: ("Accidently" knocked Naruto towards Sasuke with his arm back) Whoops!

Naruto: (Leans towards Sasuke) Ahh!

Sasuke: Huh?!

Sakura: EEK!! Those two are going to kiss!

Ino: Yes! My NaruSasu dream has finally come true!

Girls: Go ahead! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

BLACK SCREEN!!

Sakura: What the?! Why is everything black all of the sudden?!

Ino: I can't see! This is even worst than my vision with no pupils!

Girls: Turn the lights back on!!

END BLACK SCREEN!!

And we now see Naruto and Sasuke facing the opposite direction of each other, spitting the kiss off.

Sakura: NOO!! I didn't get to see them kiss!

Ino: My dream! Ruined!

Girls: NOOOOO!!

I'm sorry, but Yaoi is not allowed in my book! Now, continue on. Ok, Iruka came on time after the Black Screen. So it's time to call on the teams.

Iruka: Ok, everyone! If you guys stop complaining for a moment and you girls to stop screaming about Yaoi, we're gonna start forming trios.

Random guy #2: Why trios?

Iruka: Because if you're on a team with a girl as doubles, you'll touch yourself at night. And that's why it's trios, to avoid young child sex. Anyway, The first team will be... Uh... Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno...

Naruto: WOOHOO!!

Sakura: Damn it!

Iruka: And the emo guy.

Naruto: Oh bummer!

Sakura: Good things do happen to bitches like me!

Sasuke: ...

Iruka: Stop acting emo, Sasuke!

Sasuke: I can't...

Iruka: Why?

Sasuke: Does Sasuke have to smack a bitch?

Iruka: ... I'm not much of a bitch, but whatever.

Hinata: (Thinking) Aww... I want to see Naruto naked...

Iruka: Hinata! Stop fantasizing about Naruto being naked!

Everyone: Eww!

Naruto: Huh? What do you say, Iruka-sensei? Hinata does what?

Iruka: And just for that, you're with Kiba...

Kiba: Woof!

Iruka: And stop yapping, Kiba!

Kiba: What? I'm an Inuzuka!

Iruka: And the bug guy.

Shino: I like bugs.

Iruka: Yes, yes, we know that, Shino.

Shikamaru: Hey wait! That reminds me... Why is every single girls in every anime fall in love with emo guys who treated them like crap?!

Ino: Hey, don't blame me! The writer made me do those things like, falling in love with emo guys. If it were my decision... I'll be going after my sweet, little Naruto-kun...

Shikamaru: Hey, wait a sec... I know that Naruto is the main character and all, but... Usually, girls aren't in love with the main character. And also, Naruto is a goofy and dumbass kid. Why would you go for him?

Ino: 'Cause he's the main character. Duh!

Shikamaru: That... doesn't make sense at all...

Iruka: Ino, who is another fan of Sasuke, but pretends to like him and truely likes Naruto, you're paired up with Shikamaru and... Uh... um... Who's the fat guy?

Random girl #1: That's Chouji, sensei.

Iruka: ... I'll stick with fat guy. So you're paired up with Shikamaru and that fat guy.

Chouji is busy eating his junk food, not much caring for being in a team at all.

Iruka: Ok, that's everyone who matters in the series.

Random guy #3: Hey, wait! What about us?!

Iruka: I said everyone who matters in the series. You guys aren't important enough.

Random guy #3: Yeah, well, my parents said that I'm special!

Iruka: Your mom is a skank. Burn that!

Random guy #3: At least I have a mom!

Iruka: Ah... Touche.

Sarutobi: Hey, wait! I said that line already!

Iruka: Well, at least I'm not too old to teach them.

Sarutobi: Ah... Tou-

Iruka: Anyway, let's get going!

Sarutobi: Hey! You cut me-

Iruka: To the next scene!

The next scene! Outside of the academy. Sakura is seen walking around the streets again. And that's when the badass Naruto comes in.

Naruto: Hey Sakura-chan! Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sakura: Ugh! What do you want, Naruto?

Naruto: I just want to tell you that if you will go on a date with me, I'll be really nice to you, treat you like a human being, give you gifts and love you every day!

Sakura: That's the reason why I DON'T want to go on a date with you... Well, maybe except for the really nice part, treating me like a human being, give me gifts and the love me everyday thing...

Naruto: Uh... That's pratically everything I said.

Sakura: Uh... Oh... Um... Well... (Thinking) Damn! I just showed some of my true feelings for Naruto!

Naruto: Uh... Ok... Um... What is REALLY the reason why you don't want to go out with me?

Sakura: The only ones who I want to be asking out are the emo guys who treated you like crap. Watch.

Sasuke came in the street, walking.

Sakura: (Dreamily) Hey, Sasuke-kun...

Sasuke: (Passing by her) Go away.

Sakura: He's so dreamy!

Naruto: Uh... That doesn't make any sense at all...

Sakura: Well, it can stay like that! Now leave me alone! (Runs away from Naruto)

Naruto: Sheesh... Girls are so hard to understand, when it comes to emo guys like Sasuke.

A little later, after a dramatic incident, we now look upon Ino's team of... Weirdness, as they relax on some kind of a bridged that connects two buildings together.

Shikamaru: Ok... Let me get this straight... I'm a lazy guy, Ino is a stupid, blond bitch for no reason...

Ino: Hey! I'm not a bitch!

Shikamaru: And Chouji is a fat bastard... Not like the Fat Bastard from the movie Austin Powers...

Chouji continues to eat every single junk food he has.

Shikamaru: And that makes us weird... And our team is weird... Maybe we should called ourselves the Weird Jackasses.

Ino: (Holding a DS and plays it) Shikamaru, we're not getting any chemicals at all with that kind of name.

Shikamaru: Chemicals? What chemi- ... Wait, what game are you playing?

Ino: Naruto: Path of the Ninja, what else?

Shikamaru: Um... You do know that the only guys you can play as are Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, me, Neji and Lee, right?

Ino: So what? I can read my dialogue on Sasuke and everything else all day! Every single day! Yay!

Shikamaru: ... You know what? I rather be on a team with Naruto...

And then, Ino notices Sasuke through a window in a building... Which was not his.

Ino: Hey, isn't that Sasuke? And what's he doing inside that building?

Shikamaru: That's not his house, right? If not, could Sasuke be...

Chouji: A CRIMINAL WHO SNEAKS INTO HOUSES FOR NO REASON!!

Shikamaru: Finally! You talked, Chouji!

Chouji goes back to eating his junk food, not saying another word at all.

Shikamaru: ... What the hell?

Ino: Ah, forget Chouji, Shika. He won't be talking anytime soon.

And then, there's Naruto, who sneakwalks on the wall on the building where the criminal Sasuke is in, while huming the Mission: Impossible song.

Naruto: Dun dun dundun dun dun dundun dun!

Shikamaru: What the hell is Naruto huming?

Ino: The Mission: Impossible song? Wait, is he a ninja? Or a spy?

And then, Naruto goes throught the window and jumps on Sasuke, as the window closes because of the sudden shockwave.

Shikamaru: What the hell?! What is Naruto doing, ambushing Sasuke like that?!

Ino: Oh! I know! He's gonna rape Sasuke! Oh, if I hear one moan from either of them, I'll go to heaven!

But, with Ino's theory wrong, they heard a bunch of "Bam!" and "Bang" sound, with a few "Slap!". "Crash!", "Pow!" and in the end, a small "I PITY THE FOOL, BITCH!".

Shikamaru: ... Still thinking that he's raping him?

Ino: ... Yeah, pretty much. A brutal one, in fact.

Sasuke then comes out throught the now open window without a scratch.

Shikamaru: ... Still thinking it?

Ino: Yeah, pretty much. Maybe Sasuke is the one raping Naruto!

Shikamaru: (sigh) Girls and their stupid, bitchy dream...

Meanwhile, in somewhere where a bench is, Sakura is seen sitting in the bench, with a sad expression on her face.

Sakura: Why Sasuke doesn't like me? I'm only a bitch 99 percent of the time...

And that's when Sasuke, who is really Naruto in disguise, came in.

Sasuke (Naruto): What are you one percent of the time?

Sakura: A leprechaun!

Sasuke (Naruto): Yikes! Sorry that I asked.

Naruto then sits next to Sakura for some reason.

Sasuke: So, Sakura... How do you feel about Narut-

Sakura: I love him, Sasuke! I love him with all my heart! And you, Sasuke, are just a whiny, sissy guy who doesn't know what a floor is and always hates the damn log!

Sasuke (Naruto): Um... Ok...? (Thinking) Damn it! Who knew that Sakura was actually in love with me?! I could have just let Sasuke go and see her without beating him up!... Wait, if she loves me, why does she act like a violent bitch at me for no reason?

Sakura: So... You wanna kiss?

Sasuke (Naruto): What?! But if you really hate and love Naruto, why are you still insist me to kiss you?

Sakura: 'Cause I want to make Naruto jealous, that's all.

Sasuke (Naruto): Um... You do know that it doesn't make any sense, right? Anyway, sorry. I don't like you and I hate the pupil thing. I like Ino better than you.

Then Naruto runs away from Sakura.

Sakura: Don't worry! I'll try hard to make Naruto jealous of you so I can be together with him!

Meanwhile, in the building that Sasuke left... Or Naruto left, we see inside of the building, Sasuke tied up on the sloor, with a tape on his mouth.

Sasuke: What the? Why am I the one tied up? I thought I surely tied up Naruto... Wait... I kinda remember... I didn't tied up Naruto... I tied up... The log... Damn you, log! Why were you making me mixed up with people and logs?! That's one of the reason why I hate you!

How many reasons you have, Sasuke?

Sasuke: About 1999 reasons.

Uh... How about the attitude?

Sasuke: Are you kidding me? I got a huge attitude than the log.

Ok, we'll see. Log, do you think Sasuke has a much more attitude than you?

Log: ...

...

Log: ...

...

Log: ...

... Well, the Log has more attitude than you, Sasuke.

Sasuke: Damn it! 2000 reasons why I hate the log!!

Ok, let's skip to the scene where Sasuke pass Sakura.

In the same are with the bench, Sasuke just walks by Sakura.

Sakura: Sasuke! My love for you is-

Sasuke: Not interested.

Sakura: but I didn-

Sasuke: No.

Sakura: Maybe I-

Sasuke: No siree.

Sakura: Uh... why the attitude?

Sasuke: Don't... say... anything... about... the Log... has... a bigger attitude... than me...

Sakura: Uh... ok?

Sasuke: Why don't you just ask Naruto?

Sakura: Um... He's not emo, you know.

Sasuke: And?

Sakura: Even if he has no parents. When you lose your parents, you're supposed to be in an emotional wreak, like you.

Sasuke: Me? Emotional wreak? (Twitch)

Sakura: Yeah. You know, with the attitude and all, I say you're in an emotional wreak.

Sasuke: Sakura... I have a new kind of thing to show you.

Sakura: Really? What is it, Sasuke-kun?

Sasuke: The new kind of thing is that I foot up your mouth with my foot, then send you back to bitchy ville... Oh wait, you already know what that is... Well, the only thing I got is to say to you about something that you and all of the fans around here want to hear...

Sakura: And what's that?

Sasuke: Shut... the hell up... you Skumbag...

Sakura: ... You took that from iCarly, do you?

Sasuke: Yes... Yes, I have.

Sakura: And what do you mean, all of the fans around here? I have some of them.

Sasuke: Really? And why didn't I hear one shriek of fanboylism around here?

Sakura fanboy #1: Oh! Look! It's Sakura!

Sakura fanboy #2: Sakura-chan! We're over here!

Sakura fanboy #3: Marry me, Sakura! And if you do, I'll let you suck my-

Sakura fanGIRL: Sakura! Please be mine! And I'll be your slave forever!

Sasuke: ... Ok, that proves my point...

Sakura: Listen, Sasuke. If you want to go emo on me, go emo on somewhere else, you emo emo.

Sasuke: You said it four times.

Sakura: (sigh) Just go.

Sasuke: Fine. (Walks away from her)

Sakura: Hm... I wonder where is Naruto... He wasn't here ever since I talked to him outside of the academy... I just hope he's not taking craps...

In a bathroom...

Naruto: (Sitting on a toilet) Damn it! Why do I go to the bathroom in something so important! I have to ask Sakura out on a date!

Wait, didn't you tried that a little while ago?

Naruto: Um... What?

... Never mind... Anyway, inside of Naruto's apartment...

Sarutobi: ... we're getting less time in this episode than I thought.

Kakashi: No kidding...

Sarutobi: We need to get attention somehow... Kakashi, grab that milk and do stuff with it.

Kakashi: If you say so. (Picks up a box of milk and shakes it) He he he... Moo...

Sarutobi: ... Ok, this episode is like a copy of someone else's work! Why the hell is everything to familiar?!

Kakashi: Maybe that the writer is out of ideas that he had to mix some of his ideas for someone's big idea.

Sarutobi: ... we're getting paid, right?

Kakashi: What? This is his story. We don't get paid here.

Sarutobi: What?! At least he should give us some money.

Kakashi: Uh... That's what I said, you know. The writer can do anything to us, like not giving us money at all.

Sarutobi: Why?!

Kakashi: Does Kakashi have to smack a bitch?

Sarutobi: I'm an old man, not a bitch!

Kakashi: Whatever. We're still not getting paid.

Sarutobi: Oh alright... But we're still getting a present from him, right?

Kakashi: ...?

Sarutobi: ... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

**End of episode**

Kakashi is right, guys. I got less ideas for this episode. And I had to add most of the ideas from Naruto Abridged. Well, I hope this episode isn't too... Uh... cheating. And if it's not, I want you guys to give me some ideas for the next episode.

Well, Ja ne. And review Kudasai.


End file.
